A co-worker asked me once where I learned to cook. From the Internet, I told her. And then she started laughing. Totoo naman eh!

As a child, I was fond of watching my lola and yaya prepare and cook food in our kitchen. We had what we called, the "dirty" kitchen, where all the actual cooking was done and where you would come out smelling like the dish that was being prepared. And then there was the "clean" kitchen where a 4-burner electric stove used to sit and the tiles along the sink had pretty pastel designs on them. Just before I left, Tita had replaced the stove with a huge Elba oven that could fit a person inside. Also in the "clean" kitchen were our refridgerator, our freezer, which never runs out of frozen Bangus, and the 5-gallon water jug. Also displayed on the old-rose coloured top shelves were the dainty China and glassware that I don't remember ever using. In the "clean" kitchen, you aren't allowed to wash anything but glasses and mugs. All plates and dinnerware go at the back, at the "dirty" sink outside the "dirty" kitchen.

While my lola would let me look on while she cooked, she never actually let me cook myself. I wasn't allowed to experiment, probably because she thought that I would just "waste" food. Hence, my kitchen duties were limited to throwing the ingredients in the pot and occasionally stirring. Tita Pegs was more lenient with me. I remember her letting me cook spaghetti the way I liked it, with real tomatoes instead of putting in spaghetti sauce, with tons of garlic, and meatless. Naturally, only the two of us ended up eating the dish, so we just saved our Italian food craving for our tita-niece dates at Bellini's in Cubao or Italiani's.

And because I was so afraid that I would starve once I landed in Canada, I had Tita buy packets and packets of Mama Sita, Knorr and Lee Kum Kee instant sauce mix and soup mix. I found out later that Filipino stores existed here and that they sold those products in abundance. And little did I know that I would end up throwing them away eventually.

I assumed the role of cook in our home because Dad is hardly home long enough to do more than place bigas on the rice cooker. He'd tell me what he wanted to eat and I, having no one to ask, would seek the Internet for recipes. Later on I discovered the wonderful secret to cooking called Tita Rose, a.k.a. Arjay's mom. I have never met anyone who is more passionate about cooking than Tita Rose. She can make ANYTHING and everything. She's the type who would wake up at unholy hours to start preparing for a lunch. Breakfast at her home is a 5-course meal. My freezer is full of pre-prepared food frozen and ready to thaw and cook. So when I am unsure, or when what the Internet provided looks fishy, she's the person I call. I bet if she lived here in Brampton, I'd never lose weight.

I am proud of myself, considering I was pretty sheltered growing up. Who would've thought that I would be able to cook a mean Afritada, Tinola, or Tahong Soup? I can whip up Tuna Fettucine, Korean beef stew almost as good as Yaya Neng's, Beef Nilaga, and breaded fish fillets that can rival the ones being served at the local Fish and Chips joint(Naks! Ang yabang!) I thank the Internet above anyone, for without which I would be eating corned beef and spam for the rest of my life. I would also like to thank Tita Rose, Bobby Flay, Emeril, Giada de Laurentiis and sige na nga, Rachel Ray. Lastly, I would like to thank those people from the Chinese cooking shows that I watched as a kid, those cooks whom I could never understand but with whom I am much in awe at for being so skilled at using Chopsticks for EVERYTHING, and Sandy Daza, who influenced me to put ingredients in individual saucers or small bowls. Because of you, I prepare ingredients as if I have my own cooking show.

"You know what I say. Anyone can cook. " - Chef Gasteau, Ratatouille

I just realized something.

Ayokong magkaroon ng anak. I have yet to be convinced about motherhood. I grew up without a mother figure. I grew up being an only child. My cousins were all almost my age. I have never been around babies or children. I have no experience taking care of babies and young children. I am not the type who goes, "HOMAYGASH! Hangkyoot ng bebeh mo!" at parties, reunions or anywhere else, sabay agaw sa baby from the mother's arms. Sit me with a toddler and I ache to leave or return him or her to the mother within minutes. Palpak ako, pramis. Maybe it's not for me. *sigh*

Baka ayoko ring mag-asawa.


P.S.
Hindi ako buntis. At lalong hindi ako engaged.

For the first time since I've been here in Canada, nagka-sipon ako. Not bad I say for someone who's used to 30 degrees year round and who's suddenly shipped to a country with dreary weather.

I had my period a day before Valentine's day. Emotional me, heighten that to the 17th power, and you get psychobitch girlfriend with a crying disorder. I was at Carlton Cards on the 14th and there was a blind man shopping for a card for his significant other. An associate was reading out the card messages for him and when he finally chose one he got the cashier to write "I love you" and sign it for him. After that he thanked everyone for helping him. I think everyone in the store went aww and naturally, I had to wipe my eyes at the corner of the shop. That night when American Idol was on and the judges were rejecting people when they were picking the Top 24, I had Kleenex in my hand. I cried with the rejects.

For the two V-days that we've been together, I told Arjay that I didn't want to celebrate it. I find the "holiday" overly hyped and see it as a capitalist's ploy. Corny even. But then the hormones are acting, and you hear everyone else's dinner plans, well... you kind of long to be romanced too. I was whining on V-day eve, and our conversation went like this:
Me: "Babsy... are we going out tomorrow night?"
Arjay: "I thought you didn't want to celebrate?"
"I uhh... naiinggit ako eh"
"Okay. The idea does seem nice."
"So ask me out."
"Saan tayo bukas?"
"Babsy nooooooooooo! Will you have dinner with me tomorrow night?"
"Okay okay. Babe? Will you have dinner with me tomorrow night?"
"Yes babe =)"
"Why didn't you tell me earlier?"
"Well, I didn't want to HAVE TO tell you. I wanted you to want it."
(roll eyes)"Women!"

As expected, we ended up not going out. Aside from being extra emotional when PMSing, I am also extra indecisive.

One thing that I like about V-day is that people make their love and appreciation known. I woke up to the text message from my dad saying he loves me. Wala lang, parang it's public declaration of love day.

So we spend the night of the 14th with Arjay's family, who came over for the long weekend. If V-day is to be spent with the one you love then that indeed is what I did. Hope you had a good one folks!

True friends are a rarity. They are the ones who love you unconditionally. They know the worst thing about you and it's okay. Never judging, never condemning. Just accepting. Last night I was able to chat with three of them. It felt like I was just right at home.

MATULOG NAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!

Conviction versus Preference

Difference between a conviction and a preference, according to the U.S. Supreme Court.

A preference is a very strong belief, held with great strength. You can give your entire life in a full-time way to the service of the preference, and can also give your entire material wealth in the name of the belief. You can also energetically proselytize others to your preference. You can also want to teach this belief to your children, and the Supreme court may still rule that it is a preference. A preference is a strong belief, but a belief that you will change under the right circumstances. Circumstances such as: 1) peer pressure; if your beliefs are such that other people stand with you before you will stand, your beliefs are preferences, not convictions, 2) family pressure, 3) lawsuits, 4) jail, 5) threat of death; would you die for your beliefs? A conviction is a belief that you will not change. Why? A man believes that his God requires it of him. Preferences aren’t protected by the constitution. Convictions are. A conviction is not something that you discover, it is something that you purpose in your heart (cf. Daniel 1, 2-3). Convictions on the inside will always show up on the outside, in a person’s lifestyle. To violate a conviction would be a sin.

David C. Gibbs, Jr. Christian Law Association, P.O. Box 30290, Cleveland, Ohio 44130




Something to think about.

Last supper na ito!

I'm giving up my sugar and addiction for Lent. This is not to say that I am going on Atkins. It just makes more sense to sacrifice the sugar instead of meat since I'm not a big meat eater anyway. So to clarify what exactly I'm abstaining from, I made a short list:
cakes
cookies (I just gave my White Chocolate Macadamia to Arjay)
doughnuts (I had my last chocolate glazed this afternoon)
ice cream
anything that's packaged

And I know they're not sweets, but I thought I might as well give up chips since they are packaged too and because they are what I would probably resort to when I can't get my hands on sugar.

My sweet baba, thinking that I'd be deprived of what I loved the most for 6 weeks, decided to bring chocolate mousse tonight as my "last supper". Okay na sana, save for the fact that he got me one whole cake. My tortured soul would have to resist its presence in my fridge. I don't have the balls to share it at work either, lest I get accused of being responsible for bringing the cavities to a dental office. Yikes!

Speaking of work, yesterday was probably world toothache day. We had three emergency patients who were practically begging for someone to pull their teeth out to end their anguish. One patient particularly distracted me because of his constant moaning, fidgeting and crying. I almost felt like crying myself because he was such a pitiful sight. I felt extra sorry for him when he came up to me and told me that he only had $190 with him, but if needed, he could run to his apartment across the street to get his Visa. I told Ate Myla, who relayed the message to Doc. After the patient was treated and led to the reception for the charges, Doc advised Ate Myla to charge him only $45 for the x-rays and treatment. Aside from the ridiculously big discout that Doc gave, he also didn't charge for local anaesthesia. AND he told the patient that if the pain becomes unbearable again, he could come in anytime and a provider would freeze the affected area at no cost. I could only think, "WOW". According to Ate Myla, Doc is really compassionate, and that discounts, especially to emergency patients, were common. No wonder he's got so many patients who speak highly of him. I feel honored to be working for such an admirable man.


O yan! Hindi lang ako ang nababarok!
Arjay: *Prrrt!*
Kim: Umutot ka?
Arjay: No, I fainted part... (started laughing)
Kim: Huh?
Arjay: I was supposed to say "I feigned farting."
Kim: Buwahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm out of my hellhole. Ayoko na ng drama!!! Focus! FOCUS!

This cheered me up this morning.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TmNx_mpaWLs&feature=user

I am a HUGE fan of Jem and the Holograms. This was one of my favorite songs from the series. I used to know them by heart. I have fond memories of waking up early on Saturday mornings to watch Lamb Chops Play-Along (Rest in Peace Shari Lewis) and Jem on the iChannel while everyone else slept in. And yes, I still know the opening theme of Lamb Chops and the annoyingly cute "This is the song that never ends."

Nabarok na naman ako with English kahapon. I was telling Arjay about how much I admired the light fixtures in the Moxie's washroom and instead of pronouncing fixtures as "ficks-chures", I said "fick-chures". Like the ones you take with a camera. Buwahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!

Gawd I miss summer. I think having to stay in is what's causing me to feel depressed. I found myself enjoying a walk that I took in downtown Brampton yesterday during my break, never mind that it was -10 outside. I was looking for a particular bracelet to give as gifts since I find it so pretty. It was the magnetic kind, with images of the Virgin Mary all around. I thought of giving it to Tita Rose and the other Titas but unfortunately, I wasn't able to find it. Just before I headed back to school I treated myself to hot pho at the Vietnamese restaurant on Main Street. Gosh their server was cute. I had all the restaurant and the TV remote control to myself. I could've had a party there.

As part of my resolution to do something about my sorry state, I promised myself that I would take the driver's written test and enroll myself in driving school by March. Being immobile and having to depend on Arjay to get around make me feel helpless at times. And that's a feeling that I hate the most. Thus, commuting to get to downtown Toronto feels so liberating for me. I honestly don't mind taking public transportation, even when I was in the Philippines. Since we didn't have a driver and Metro Manila streets intimidated me too much to learn how to drive, I had to rely on family members or myself to get around. Jeepneys, FXs and taxis do not scare me, even with my experiences of being robbed (cellphone!), sexually harrassed (a pervert sitting behind me once touched the skin showing between my top and jeans. I spun around and gave him the dirtiest look and stomped on his foot as I was getting off.) and almost raped or mugged or abducted or God-knows-what when I rode on taxis by myself during unholy hours. Yes, you develop this mentality that everyone is a potential mugger/rapist/murderer when you've been to the most dangerous places in the metro. Unsafe and dysfunctional as my hometown may be, I am still in love with her and would go back "a thousand times over" =)

Sana nandito ang mga pinsan ko para may kalaro ako sa isnow. Ang lungkot talaga kapag walang kapatid.