I was supposed to finish studying for math tonight. I moved from the sofa to the pc table and have been fixated on all things Philippines since. I you-tubed A Song for Mary. I learned that A Song for Mary sounded SO SIMILAR to Oh Canada. Heck if I had the lyrics in front of me I could probably sing it better than my friends. I pressed replay over and over again and pumped my right fist in the air and shouted (sort of) the line "WIN OR LOSE IT'S THE SCHOOL WE CHOOSE!". I saw a short clip showing how Doug Kramer did a buzzer beater (1 second left in the game) and led Ateneo to win game 1 of the 2006 UAAP finals. I replayed that a hundred times too, out of disbelief. You see, in my time, Doug Kramer was an eedyot who did not know how to dribble. I found out that the You Tube member who posted the above mentioned clips is my former blockmate, Jason. I saw the short video he and his classmates made for his multimedia class and found it endearingly hilarious. I googled Ateneo cheers and read an Ateneo survey from an Atenean's blog. I blog hopped from one friend to another and from one stranger to another. I saw Bora photos. Cebu. Oh Cebu. I you-tubed 5 years by Sugar Hiccups and I still got goosebumps when I heard it. I choreographed a contemporary/jazz routine in my head that I could never in a million years dance to. I went on Friendster. Checked out updates. Looked at photos from the past. Sighed and sighed. I went to Female Network and posted at topics that caught my eye. I gave my two cents when a naive member asked about the effeciency of the withdrawal method. I wanted to smack her in the head. I glanced at my textbook and calculator in front of me and sighed. I drew a timetable with 36 teeny boxes and filled them with months January 2008 to December 2010. I encircled the May - August 2009 boxes, and made a note that I will take a vacation in the middle of this time period as it is a regular term and not a work term for co-op. And then I realized that July 2009 would mark my 3rd year here, and hence, a vacation around this time might not be the best idea. Demet.


I somewhat wish that the question I assumed had attacked me last night was not clarified. Maybe that would have pushed me to actually think it through.

*sigh*
I so lonely.

Kung hindi ako magaling mag-Tagalog, at hindi rin ako magaling mag-English, paano na?

Our technical support guy came by the clinic this afternoon to drop a mouse for the laptop. I had a big smile on my face as I said hi and he asked me how I was. Flustered from whatever I was doing at that time, I loudly said "HOW!" instead of "How are you?" So parang naging "Hi" yung "How are you?" ko. I'm not sure if he heard me. Okay, I'm positive he heard me. Napaka-enthusiastic pa naman ng "How" ko. I can just imagine how red my face was after. But anyway, I redeemed myself when I went to the back to use the washroom. He was there so I just made small talk about the terrible weather. Haha. Good save. Until my next blooper.

I'm in the school's computer lab an hour before my first class starts. There's a girl changing the diapers of a hysterical baby right next to me. The person sitting across me is someone from class. I haven't even sat down yet and she asks me if I can help her with our Math homework when I'm done with mine. No, I don't really want to help you because I suck at explaining math solutions and I always end up not doing it the way our teacher does. But I tell her okay because I'm so nice. Or rather, I doubt I'll finish mine on time.

Day 2 palang so masipag pa ako mag-blog. Pardon the Tag-lish. I won't even bother to italicize the non-English words because I'm lazy that way and whatever I put here is mine to read anyway. Arjay blames me for the way he speaks now. Nahawa daw siya sa pagtatag-lish ko. Kasalanan ko ba na mabilis siya mahawa? Or to put it in his words, mutable? Hindi naman masagwa ang Taglish ko. Ganito lang. Parang normal Manilenya speak. Hindi naman ako "Manong, can you make tuhog tuhog the fishballs for me?" Even "pakikuha sa car" sounds off for him. Bakit hindi daw "pakikuha sa kotse?" or "Can you get it from the car" nalang?

Speaking of language, it's been a regular game for us migrant friends to challenge each other with our Filipino vocabulary knowledge. It started when we were having dinner one night and Angela told us that she and Alvin were playing that game, them having been residing here for over a decade already. Most impressive was Angela, who has left the Philippines when she was only 7 years old, and yet she knows more Filipino than Alvin, who I think came here when he was 14 already. So anyway, we talked about the show "Kayang Kaya Mo 'To" from Eat Bulaga. Arjay and I were told about this hilarious segment and we searched for it on YouTube right away. Sobrang laugh trip! I'm not making fun of those who had difficulty expressing themselves in English, but the show was really funny. My favorite was Jose, who always referred to himself when describing something. Like when he was asked to describe "siokoy", he said, "It's ME, under the sea." And Francis M. got it right away. Oh gosh, how adorable are Filipinos. I love my people's sense of humor. And there was also the chicken pox. "It's uhmm.... It's an animal!" Panalo!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So after we told Camille about the show we began our own little game among ourselves. We basically think of an English word and we have to translate it in Filipino. Man, we were bad! We didn't know what quick sand was in Filipino. Or funnel.

Arjay and I challenge each other even before. He wins most of the time, but I argue that he's probably tricking me sometimes and that some of the words are probably Batangenyo and not Tagalog. My most embarassing episode was when he asked me if I knew what island was. And I excitedly said "ISLA!" in a haughty matter-of-fact kind of way. He said that was correct but there was a more Filipino word for it and at that time I knew that I knew it. I just couldn't remember. So he gave me clues right? He goes, "It's the first four letters of a very common name in the Philippines." And without hesitating I shout "PEDR (peh-duhr)!" thinking right away of the name Pedro. And then I realized how stupid that was, because pedr was not even a word. And naturally he started laughing at me. How many Pedros do I even know daw. Sabi ko, wala. Boohoo. And then he gave me one more clue. "It sounds like the name of an actor from Tabing Ilog" and right away I thought of Paulo Contis, and again, I shouted triumphantly, "PAUL (pronounced Pah-ool)" BUZZ!!!!!!!!! Siyempre mali na naman. Pulo daw. I knew that. -_-

Tinatawanan ko nalang ang sarili ko when this happens. But it really is a shame. And I speak on behalf of the many Filipinos who cannot speak our native language without injecting borrowed English words. I tell myself that it's not entirely my fault, because colonialism and neocolonialism made us the way we are, that Western culture has penetrated ours so deeply already. Filipino is my mother tongue, yet I struggle to excel in speaking it. It's so sad. Basta, my kid will learn to speak it, regardless of where he or she will be born and raised.

Demet. Half an hour has gone by already and I haven't started my math homework yet. The little tot is now running around the lab while his mother is chasing after him. I wasn't able to help my classmate after all. Oops. Churi.

Hello again!

Blogging never came naturally for me even though I've been told that I write good letters. Some friends have assumed that I was the type who probably owned thick, dust-collecting diaries (yes, diaries, and not journals) when I was younger. I recall having owned a few and especially remember a light peach-coloured hardbound one with Snoopy on the front. This I shall not forget, because in its pages I wrote an angst-filled and very emotional letter for my mother when I was 11. I never gave her the letter. I think I even tore the pages out. But it's still sitting there in my top drawer at Scout, sharing spaces with paraphernalia kept during my pack-rat-in-the-making childhood years.

I have also had several blogs which has archives that never contain more than 4 months worth of entries. Those blog names I can't even remember. Sometimes I run across friends' links and see my name, and I check to see the URL. I just laugh when I read past entries, shuddering at the thought that I sometimes thought or acted the way I did. Oh youth.

While this might land on that forgetten pile of discontinued journals, I decided to give it another try. If by chance, this blog is still regularly being updated by January 2009, I shall buy you, yes you, a drink.