The truth is, I never believed in having a best friend of the opposite sex.

I was drawn to the idea of having a male best friend in my early teens. It seemed "cool" to be close friends with a guy and to have people tease you about each other while you deny to death that there is something going on. I thought that I had found that person in my senior year in high school, when I developed a very close friendship with Tek.

The girls in my school gravitate toward Tek. My group of girlfriends eventually started hanging out with him. It wasn't long before we became inseparable and I considered him to be my best friend. But the friendship didn't turn out to be completely platonic. He admitted to having more than friendly feelings to me and started "courting" me thereafter. I confused feelings of enjoying his friendship to actually liking him. I turned him down soon after the revelation, but confessed to my friends that I missed him. My dear but immature girlfriends however, wanted to see a happy ending and therefore told Tek that I missed him in THAT way. He started hanging out with me again and even asked me to be his date for our graduation ball. I accepted and as I expected, we had a grand time partying our high school years away. That summer, he left for Thailand for a short vacation and promised to give me the world when he came back. He never heard from me since.

The word platonic is said to be a description of Plato's non-sexual relationships with his students. That for me is BS, because I still believe that he had strong sexual affections for Socrates. Having said that, I don't think that a "platonic" relationship between people of opposite sexes can be completely devoid of romance.

In my own definition, a best friend is the person whom you are closest to. It is the person you openly confide in, the person you genuinely enjoy talking to and being around with, the person you know in and out. I cannot imagine having a male friend possess all those qualities without me falling for him, or being attracted to him at the least. I have heard of people suppressing their feelings to "save the friendship." But it only takes one spark to ignite the fire. Emotions are easily triggered to surface.

I empathize with boyfriends and husbands of women with male best friends and girlfriends and wives of men with female best friends. If you are able to tell something you can't trust your significant other with, then what does that say of the relationship? Moreover, what does that say of the relationship with the best friend? I can only imagine the bad feelings or insecurities that are brought up in this situation. It is also this very reason why I believe that exes cannot be close friends again.

I do not intend to ridicule those who believe that platonic best-friend-relationships exist. I do not dispute that one cannot have close friendships with someone of the opposite sex as I too, have those. But I also do not regret to burst the bubble of people who are mystified. I find that a lot of people, young women especially, hang on to the romantic idea of a male best friend, thus making their sincerity in the friendship questionable.

Even these kids are honest about their feelings toward their best friend. Cute video :) I heard the advertising company had to interview over 60 pair of best friends to film this. Well worth it, if you had seen the little boy's reaction. Priceless!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=rJvJgvXcoMQ


A little post script...

For me, labelling someone as a best friend requires a weight of careful considerations. If I stuck to my convictions of what a best friend is, then I would have an extensive list, because I have not necessarily remained closest to any one person at all times in my life. And since labelling someone as a current best friend, best friend in high school, or kindergarten best friend sounds completely belittling to its value, I'd rather not name names at all. I am grateful enough to have good friends and I feel no need to name favorites.